I went for a second opinion to a local surgeon with a great reputation for being aggressive in handling abdomen complications from scar tissue build up, hernias, etc. My wife deserves all the credit for finding Dr. Mahan. The first thing Dr. Mahan noticed was that I had abdomen swelling, so he wanted me to get another CT Scan. However, instead of saying "let's see what we see on the scan.", he told us that he expected to see nothing on the scan because scar tissue can't really be detected on scans. A few days after my appointment, my pain go so bad that Dr. Mahan's nurse was able to move up and get me a stat appointment for my scan and got me in to see the Doctor within a days time. By the way, Angela is an excellent nurse who recognizes the importance of treating the patient like a person.
During my second appointment, Dr. Mahan did not hesitate to confirm that nothing was on my scan but that in one week, my abdomen looked more swollen than from when he saw me the week before. Dr. Mahan told me that it was time for Operation #5. Not that I want to be under the knife again but at this point, I have exhausted all other means of finding out what is wrong and Dr. Mahan is the first person to tell my wife and I that he could help us. Most important, he said it with confidence and no hesitation.
I know this is the right decision, but I have a fear of the unknown. The other four operations, I knew for the most part what they would find, a mass, hernias, another mass, hernia intertwined with my bowl, but I won't know what he found until I wake up. I also have a fear of not waking up. Of missing out on the next forty years with my wife after it took me until I was almost 43 to find her. Or watching my kids graduate from high school, college, weddings, teaching my 15 month old Evan about how great it is to be a Mets and Jets fan, and most importantly an American.
I know my fears are natural but by writing this blog post, they won't consume me. I know that I will be watched over by my angel, Holly and what ever challenges that we might face we will meet them and live a long and happy life together. After all, I'm hanging out with her for the rest of my life.
