Battle of the Bulge

I have now entered a new chapter in my fight and with that comes decisions that are not easy to make. I wish that my reference to the title of my post was that I was trying to lose weight, however, that is not the case. Over the last few weeks, I have developed lumps and swelling in my abdomen, predominately around right side of my scar. I was hesitant to go back to the surgeon because at first I was tired of doctors, tests, and CT Scans. Unfortunately, over the next couple of weeks, the lumps swelled up and the pain got worse.

I went back to Dr. Mahan, who performed my last operation, and he was at a loss. There was nothing on my CT Scan that showed a blockage but on the other hand I have had so many operations, he couldn't tell what is wrong. He thought it could possibly be old mesh from prior surgeries had failed. Mahan wanted me to try and do normal activities until my next appointment in three weeks. I didn't even make it a week. The swelling got worse and moved to the above the scar and below . I was scared. Mahan said that I needed to avoid surgery because not only would it be a major operation, but there was high risk, which could include possible death.

I didn't want to just go to an emergency room as I knew my history was complicated and they would have deferred to wait for Mahan to return. With my appetite decreasing and nausea increasing, I had an emergency appointment with Mahan's partner.  Dr. Venuneau looked at me after reviewing my records and said that the large bulge was a hernia and that my intestines were herniated as well. He said that this was due to the fact that no muscle had grown back from my abdomen wall never fully healing. Anyway, Venuneau said that an operation would put me in the hospital for several weeks and cause a variety of complications. All he could do was tell me to go to the bathroom more and rest. I told him that I go to the bathroom several times a day and I don't think that is the issue.

Frustrated that the only relief I get, if any, is to lie down as much as possible.  I can't see living like this and pain medication only masks the issue. With decisions that not only will effect myself and my future, but it will also effect my family, I decided to go for a second opinion. After my June 8 appointment with Mahan, I will fly up to NYC and see a surgical specialist at Mount Sinai Hospital. I am in the early phases of this battle, but I won't let my frustration and fear cloud my judgement and desire to keep moving forward. Cancer has taken it's toll on me physically the last several years but it will never affect how I feel and my ability to love.